


Windows Down, Sun is Out (I Want to Be Oceansize)

by sweeterthankarma



Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [13]
Category: Rectify (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bonding, F/F, Religious Discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24710746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeterthankarma/pseuds/sweeterthankarma
Summary: “I love the water,” Tawney says, half announcing and half marveling in that way that she always seems to be. She always talks like she’s discovering something unheard of, something she isn’t quite sure she’s really seeing. Amantha looks up from her book, her thumb marking her place as the breeze blows the cover shut.“Yeah? Why?”
Relationships: Amantha Holden/Tawney Talbot
Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769956
Comments: 10
Kudos: 2





	Windows Down, Sun is Out (I Want to Be Oceansize)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Pride Month and welcome to my first ever month-long fic challenge! For thirty days, I'll be writing and posting LGBTQ+ fics inspired by the prompts listed [here](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/517562182177703635/). These fics will be anywhere from 100-1,500 words, will be for different fandoms, ships and characters, and will all stand alone. Here goes nothing!
> 
> Day 13 Prompt: Swimming. Set in an AU where Tawney is separated from Teddy— or maybe she and Teddy were never even together? Idk I just like to pretend Teddy doesn't exist because he sucks lol. I love the idea of bi Amantha and repressed lesbian Tawney so I knew I had to write them at some point during this challenge even though it's been a hot minute since I've rewatched the show. 
> 
> Title comes from the song "Oceansize" by Oh Wonder.

It’s perpetually humid in Paulie, especially in late July, but today they’re lucky. The heat isn’t as oppressive as it was last week (and the week before that, and the week before that)  and the canopy of trees hanging above the backyard is as full as ever, providing shelter from the sun anywhere except the left corner of the pool. That’s where Tawney lingers, the cool water rising to just above her breasts, wetting the floral trim of her bathing suit ,  and then up to her neck when she decides to sink deeper and wade towards Amantha. 

Amantha’s sundress sticks tight to the skin of her underarms. The plastic lawn chair beneath her is scalding whenever she tries to fix it, so she stays still, befriends the discomfort, and scans lines of prose through her tinted sunglasses. She breathes in the scent of chlorine and grass and pretends it’s just as satisfying as the smell of tobacco. She’s trying to quit smoking, emphasis on trying.

The neighbors across the street are mowing, loud and persistent, but Amantha still hears Tawney when she speaks.

“I love the water,” she says, half announcing and half marveling in that way that she always seems to be. She always talks like she’s discovering something unheard of, something she isn’t quite sure she’s really seeing. Amantha looks up from her book, her thumb marking her place as the breeze blows the cover shut. 

“Yeah? Why?”

Tawney shrugs, her bathing suit strap slipping down her shoulder as she does so. She adjusts it then looks up to meet Amantha’s gaze across the yard.

“You’ll think it’s stupid.”

Amantha lets out a broken scoff, a habit just as intrinsic to her nature as Tawney’s wistfulness is to hers. “Try me,” she replies. 

Tawney tilts her head, seems to take this as a challenge. 

“Well,” she starts, moving her hands just beneath the surface of the water and watching the ripples, “I believe that God created everything, this world and everyone in it.  _ Everything _ in it. The first Bible story I ever memorized was the Gospel of Matthew where Jesus walked on water, my youth camp always taught that one first. It’s stuck with me my whole life; the possibilities and promise of everything that God can do. If he can make this —” she gestures around them to the barren, overgrown space that vaguely resembles a backyard , “ —  if he can create the Earth the way that he did and the way that he continues to, I have to believe that he’s created me too, then. That I have a purpose, just as water does to hydrate and sustain people. I have to believe everything will work out the way it should.”

Her words tumble over each other like she’s said this before, or maybe she’s just had the concept bottled up inside of her for a long while, waiting to be drained and shared. She half expects Amantha to laugh at her, to snort and say “that’s far-fetched bullshit,” so she tenses up, gets ready for it, waits for the typical twitch of Amantha’s jaw indicating bitterness and cynicism.

Instead Amantha tosses her book to the grass and comes over, stands right at the pool’s edge before crouching down and dipping her legs in. Teal tinted water comes up to her knees and Tawney watches her skin dampen, submerge under the same mass of water that drenches her own body. There are tiny hairs growing from her shins, slim rows that she missed while shaving, and Tawney isn’t sure why but she feels compelled to reach out and touch them. 

“I may not believe in God,” Amantha says, and Tawney catches the subtle conviction in her voice, “but I sure do believe in you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi and celebrate pride month with me on Tumblr [here.](https://sweeterthankarma.tumblr.com/)


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